Should i take ayahuasca alone

If you think you are in trouble, you are. Fear feeds on itself. Darkness is, and when it hits you, there is no limit to how humbling that can be. This is what a shaman protects you from; the demons on the outside, and the demons within. They are one in the same. Talk to anyone who has drank enough Ayahuasca, and they will have tales of the darkness.

They will have those shocking moments when it was finally their turn to beg for help. The energies were so unbelievably intense, my ego was willing to do anything to escape. The shaman poured himself into helping me move through this darkness, and I wept in gratitude. Almost everything the shaman does for the circle involves protection. They call in the helper spirits and plants to guide us in our journeys.

They sing powerful icaros to help move energies, heal our hearts, bring on the purge, and guide us into every conceivable emotional experience. They hold that space with strength and love, so that we can all feel safe enough to go inside ourselves and do the work. When you work alone, you are acting as the guide, the protector, and the participant.

They are out there, but not in droves. First of all, shamans train for years to make a brew that is truly powerful. This is not a matter of ordering the right plants on the internet and reading an Erowid thread. In this sense, our ignorance often saves us. Nor is it in any way intuitive to know how to integrate our own energies with the tea or to understand the esoteric ways a shaman imbibes it with love and protection.

Likewise, when we do anything alone, on some level we know the inherent risks. Resistance to the depths of Ayahuasca can often result in a lighter experience. Yet that can be dangerously misleading. How that manifests is a mystery. Trusting that it will happen is not. Admitting that we were wrong, that we were arrogant, or that we were complacent to the power of a sacred plant is no easy task. Quite often, these humbling experiences show up outside of ceremony, too. We may not see the correlation of our world falling apart to any disrespect for energies we have unconsciously toyed with.

But it is absolutely all connected. I was in training for almost 6 years before I started solo work. And I did so under the guidance of my teacher. He always knew when I was embarking on a solo experience. He met me there in that space to guide me. I played his icaros on my iPad to keep his presence strong.

I asked the medicine to be gentle at first, so I could find my own foundation and confidence with her in a solo setting. It was a long, purposeful, uber-respectful process. And it absolutely changed my life, and my relationship with her, in beautiful and connected ways. You might also be a devout and experienced sitter, not necessarily called to facilitating, but desiring a deeper connection to the medicine.

Finally, please note all of these cautions and concerns are directed to a primarily Western audience. I am aware of many folks in Brazil and Peru that do solo work, but they receive their medicine from local shamans and they are simply expanding their bond with an aspect of their cultural upbringing. When drinking with yourself, there is nobody and nothing there to obscure you from yourself, there is only you.

There is little chance to practice too much ceremony or tradition, as this only becomes most apparent when there are a group of people are witnessing that. I also highly recommend low dose mushrooms in the float tank, in that case, there is only you.

You take the low dose of mushrooms, get in the tank, stay as still as you can, and actively surrender into yourself. And so to bypass all this structure and tradition, there is an easy way, just drink by yourself, maybe with some music playing, or just in silence.

You have many indigenous tribes, whose ways are quite relaxed and down to earth when it comes to taking ayahuasca. But westerners have these ideas of a singular shamanic craft which exists throughout the Amazon. The closest that comes to this, is a largely Peruvian mestizo model, which is a newish model designed to suit a post-conquered, mixed race Amazonian peoples, often with elements of christianity, witchcraft and sorcery typically taken out for the tourists.

Strongly visual ayahuasca is just not a tradition, except for the shamans who largely use the ayahuasca to psychically fight each other. The form of mestizo shamanism whereby ayahuasca is given to gringos at a high DMT dose is largely only a new tradition which has existed for a few decades.

Perhaps the real meat of mestizo shamanism, is to learn and listen and work with the plants, through singing icaros. I myself do not sing icaros, although there are several styles of singing and vocal techniques that come through me at times. But shamanism in its essence, is actually very simple, it is the communication with spirits, good and bad, and that is what people who have worked past their own shit will start doing naturally after perhaps a few dozen sessions.

My view is that the primary teacher is the plants, and the spirits we can meet in the space, who we can look to as teachers and healers. The primary wisdom and learning really is inbuilt into the medicine itself.

The same is unfortunately true in the amazon today. To my mind Ayahuasca is very powerful as a healer of the human body and psyche, and that is its niche. But also, Syrian rue and a DMT containing plant admixture will often give people what they are looking for in terms of visions and insight just as much as ayahuasca, if not moreso. And to myself and many other people who are deep into psychedelics, mushrooms are just as much a valid medium as ayahausca.

The visions, experiences, wisdom and communications, are just as potent and meaningful than with ayahuasca. It is just that the mushrooms do not have so much of an obvious tradition in any culture, and that may be because the mushrooms do not easily lend themselves to forms of structure and control. Every individual who drinks ayahuasca has a different intention of course, some individuals will be absorbing the lessons from the plants and other beings showing them the nature of the universe and their own patterns and psychology.

And this requires just as much work in the days and weeks after drinking ayahuasca, by looking and inquiring into what is not working, and letting it go. Ayahuasca is in some sense, a medicine of letting go of what is not working. It will show you what is not working, and you will feel and experience that, and have the potential to purge out of you, rather than hold onto it.

Left to their own processes, and assuming the individual has some sort of connection to their own wisdom, the wisdom of the plants or other beings, then learning can proceed. Perhaps human beings are too addicted to being taught something by other human beings. Yet, after a time working with the medicine you start to carry out a spiritual sort of work, effectively a kind of shamanism if you like, whereby you are called to communicate with different beings and spirits, and that is literally the dictionary definition of shaman.

There are many beings and contexts in the spiritual worlds, and through communication and work with these spirits, presumably the physical 3D world is effected.

Another issue with drinking under the auspices of a shaman or facilitator, is that you are often placed under their guidance. I will say that an Ayahuasca Experience is serious stuff and not for everybody. This is especially true when choosing the right retreat center, as the growing Aya industry is leading to a slew of shady businesses out there. They say to avoid major life decisions prior to an Ayahuasca retreat as it could all be flipped on its head after the experience. Many people have abruptly ended relationships, changed careers, moved cities, and made other radical shifts months following their retreats.

Within weeks of flying back I made the decision to quit my job, travel long term, and dedicate my life to Warrior. In the peak of my most powerful trip, I had an intense vision of my own death.

As terrifying as this sounds, it was one of the most important events of my life. Typically our hearts tell us exactly what we want, yet those whispers go unnoticed with the barrage of fears, self-doubt, and mental baggage blasting in our minds. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.

You are already naked. Ayahuasca allows you to have this in a relatively safe environment. Many of us were lucky to get 4 hours each night. You might be plagued with hunger. By the last day, half our conversations had nothing to do with Ayahuasca, but all the glorious foods we were going to sink our teeth into once we got back to the city. And now the experience itself.

Sure that could be the case. First and foremost, ayahuasca is a medicine. Enter La Purga. Half my trips were spent in intense nausea, drenched in sweat, hovered over my puke bucket.

To my right, a girl sobbing uncontrollably. To my left, a guy lying in fetal position in excruciating pain. This is all happening in complete darkness. Many describe Ayahuasca as a mother. Like most mothers, sometimes she gives tough love.

She could test you in more ways than you can imagine. Physically, mentally, emotionally, she has the power to break you. It was more taxing, challenging, frightening than I would have thought. But again, it was also the most transformative experience of my life and the obstacles you face are worth it in the end.

They say to drop expectations coming into an Ayahuasca experience. Set your intention beforehand, but once the cup is sipped, let go. Where she takes you is number one outside your direct control and number two incredibly unpredictable. During my retreat I took part in four ayahuasca ceremonies, each one being radically different from the next. The first was spent in utter nausea, purging in a mental state I can only describe as mixture between a haunted house and a mad house.

The second was the most transformative event of my life, as I was taken on the most beautiful journey of enlightenment I could have asked for.